i-need-the-pie-bitch:

i-need-the-pie-bitch:

my brother once accidentally locked himself in a dog cage and starting snapchatting photos for help till my mum and dad had to drive over and free him

did I fail to mention my brother is a 25 year old man

(Source: rosaeverdeen, via bronxdawg)

  • me: why did you just reblog that from them
  • me: i literally just reblogged that
  • me: you're following both of us so why'd you reblog it from them and not me
  • me: is it because you don't like me
  • me: is it because i'm fat

I found my roommate’s twitter…

egobus:

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wow i really got around on the second day of school

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i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything

…I don’t even drink alcohol 

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i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music 

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i don’t even have her number????????????

(via baileeisntfunny)

poprocksforbreakfast:

officialfrenchtoast:

"hey don’t you have a crush on…"

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that gif is perfectly looped wtf

(via bronxdawg)

zillatamer:

letterstogodptiii:

tea-books-and-blankets:

yaygocats:

discomplete:

“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography

“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.

“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy 

“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book

a pop up book

(via catrick-stump)

astrongerdose:

do you ever just hear a certain lyric and your throat feels like it’s closing up bc it hits you that hard

(Source: avoidthoseeyes, via teenagersscarethelivin)

perksofhemmings:

do you ever just look at pretty fans and think “for fuck sake”

(via kelliinquiinn)

katkinkat:

i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful

(Source: baebees, via baileeisntfunny)

doctorsassypantsonfire:

captainlucifer:

erocsan:

captainlucifer:

if a guy friend that you’re romantically interested in asks you out, reject him first as a test to see whether he’ll get angry and accuse you of friendzoning him or respect your decision and be willing to carry on being friends

Example of why women are fucking crazy hahahaha

i’m a man

So fuckin satisfied with this plot twist.

(via coolgrandson)

slenclerman:

slenclerman:

ive never had a boner isnt that weird

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(Source: clannyphantom, via lowerthan-yourmum)

despairjunko:

games that let you save anywhere instead of making you go to save points

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(Source: froslasss, via jack-bakarat)